October 30, 2022

FOLLOW YOUR OWN INSTINCTS

By Simply Sheneka
SIMPLY SHENEKA - DATING COACH
SIMPLY SHENEKA - DATING COACH

 

Struggle love is an oxymoron. Don't fall for the okey-doke that'll have you acting like a tool for a man's comfort instead of a woman. If you can't tell if he cares for you after he's gotten to know you for who you are, then walk away.

Follow your own instincts. We’re not responsible or can control how people behave. 

A who cares for you, will make sure you feel it. He will have you in mind in everything he does, even if it has nothing to do with you. He will anticipate your needs before you even need them. He will go out of his way to make you comfortable and happy. He will spoil you just to see your face light up.

Not only will he do all the nice things you expect a man in love to do, he will also do the things that you don't expect, never even thought of, or were told to believe is unrealistic to want. He will do this in big ways that you can spot from a mile away and in little ways that you will never notice. He will not do it for attention or because you've done something to earn it, he will do it just because.

I'm not saying he will be perfect or that there will be no problems for you, I'm saying he will do everything in his power to make sure there aren't any, and vice versa because the safe space has been created for you, by you both.

You won't have to ask him, friends, or yourself to figure out if he really loves you. You won't have to snoop his IG follows or ask about his past. You won't have to do a love language test to unlock his affection for you. You won't have to remind him to do the nice things he used to do in the beginning of your relationship. You won't have to analyze his every move or yourself when you feel like there should be more fire or passion from him. You won't have to convince yourself "that all men show their love in different ways" or "some men love harder than others" because you feel that something is missing from him, because you won't feel like something is missing from him.

It will be clear. He's in love with you - a fact.

If it is complicated, if you are waiting for the "real" love to begin or return, if you find yourself making excuses, if you doubt, I'm sorry to say he is not in love with you. Even if he says he is. Even if he does the right things sometimes. Even if he proposed to you, married you, or had children with you. Even if he believes he is. If you don't know for sure, like you know the back of your hand, it's because he isn't. Don't ever convince yourself otherwise because you will be dooming yourself to never experiencing genuine affection because of who you are. You will make yourself believe you're undeserving, and each passing year will convince you more and more that it never even existed in the first place. Even when you see it, you'll pretend it isn't real because the alternative is believing you were never good enough for it. It'll make you bitter and dark-hearted, all for a mediocre man that wasn't even brave enough to find a woman he truly loves. Don't ever settle for that.

Need to vent or get advice? Ask me anything: https://simplysheneka.net/collections/girl-chat-calls

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