January 25, 2022

YOUR NETWORK IS YOUR NETWORTH

By Simply Sheneka
SIMPLY SHENEKA - YOUR NETWORK
SIMPLY SHENEKA - YOUR NETWORK

Who you know greatly affects your net worth. You’ve probably heard the saying “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. This is real! Who we spend our time with is a reflection of who we are and where our life is going. Hang around 4 broke people, you’ll be the 5th one. Or you can hang around 4 wealthy people, and become the 5th one.

You may be thinking “ok girl I know, but how do I meet high networth individuals?” That’s what I’ll be sharing with you today. I was in your shoes years ago. I went from only hanging around my high school friends to having corporate CEOs, financiers, and 6 figure entrepreneurs on speed dial. This was a very slow process and I was intentional with my behavior. I was in the corporate and finance space, and wanted to be around people that helped my career and business grow. If you’re someone like me that had the desire to level up their circle, but wasn’t sure on where to start then take notes of the below:

Determine the type of friend(s) you want to have. Are you like me, in the finance industry? Then you’ll want to associate yourself with financiers, accountants, investors and business owners. Maybe you’re an inspiring real estate agent and want to associate yourself with realtors, brokers, investors and contractors. Maybe you’re in law school, and want to be associated with top notch lawyers, other law students, and potential clients that’ll need a lawyer in the future. Before you start the journey of leveling up your circle, determine who it is you want around you. If not, you could attract all types of people that may not benefit your life. For example, if you focus only on having wealthy friends, you could attract the “New Money” tech guys or spoiled rich heirs that just want to party and drink. Be intentional with who you want around you.

Start small. I know we all want friends that make millions & billions of dollars, own a private jet, and spend $5k just on sleepwear. But if you’re only making $50-60k/year, that just won’t happen (yet). And that’s okay! I don’t know about y’all, but I’d feel uncomfortable having a friend THAT MUCH richer than me lol. You’ll feel left out or worse they may (unconsciously) look down on you and not treat you as their equal. It’s important to start small, and work your way up as you level up. For example, if you make $50-60k/year, look for friends that make $100k-$150k/year. If you’re already making $100k, look for friends that make $300k-$450k/year and so on. Sidenote: This has nothing to do with the men you date or mentors, always go for the wealthiest one, but when it comes to friends it’s important that you can relate to your friend group and be treated as an equal, even if you’re not as wealthy as them yet. Imagine going shopping with them, and you can only afford Forever21 while they’re at Gucci and LV. You never want to be in a postion where you’re uncomfortable or looked down upon. Start where you are and work your way up.

Be where they are. Now that you know who you want around you, ask yourself “where would my ideal friend(s) be? Stop going to Walmart and Dollar Tree, and start shopping at Whole Foods, Mariano’s, and the farmers market. If you want to increase the chances of running into a potential high value friend, go where high value people go. This doesn’t only mean 5 star restaurants and hotels, but think about what your ideal wealthy friend would do on a daily basis. Coffee shops, farmers market, high end gyms, luxury nail salons! All these are all places wealthy individuals may spend time during their day. Show up there consistently and be friendly! High end clubs, hotels, and restaurants are good to find men, but when it comes to friends it may be hard because most ladies go to these places WITH their friend group so they aren’t look to make friends. But when you show up to their yoga class daily, always run into them at the gym, or bump into each other in the aisle at Whole Foods, you’re more likely to spark a conversation that can lead to a friendship. 

Join clubs or sport groups. You may not be able to afford the six figure membership at the golf course right now or get invited to join elite social groups, but don’t let that discourage you. You can join paid book clubs and mastermind groups. If you’re good at tennis or badminton, join an adult league in a wealthy part of town. I started by going to business and finance networking groups in my city. Sometimes I met indivuals who were wealthy, sometimes I didn’t. But either way, I increased my chances by being there. Wealthy people tend to do sports like golf, tennis, skiing, horse racing, etc. If you’re good at those or willing to take lessons, then join an adult league. This is the easiest way to be around high value individuals and actually get the chance to build relationships with them. Remember: always stay in your budget, and don’t overspend just to fit into a group. If you can only afford to spend $100/month then find clubs within that budget. I promise you’ll find at least ONE friend that’ll be worth it.

Always look presentable. Unlike a lot of people on here, I won’t tell you that you need to leave the house in a designer purse and silk dress just to attract wealthy friends because that’s not true. Most of my wealthy friends only wear designer when we go out, and if they do I can’t tell because they’re not big on logos. Looking presentable simply means looking clean and polished. You can make a Fabletics outfit look like Lulu Lemon if you know what you’re doing. If you can’t afford an birkin, just buy a nice purse and take good care of it. Keep the colors you wear to a minimum, keep your outfits clean and clear of lint, and keep your hair and nails maintained. Never go out the house wearing PJs, yesterday’s sweat pants, and clothes that are too big/little for your body!

Be friendly! Stop walking around with a resting BITCH face all the time. This doesn’t mean you have to walk around smiling, but just relax your face. If you need help with this, practice your resting “nice” face in the mirror. When you’re standing or walking around, get off your phone. You can’t expect to be open and friendly, if you’re always strolling on your phone. This gives off a vibe that you’re not in the mood to talk to those around you. When you’re in public places like the airport, grocery store or gym, spark a conversation! Compliment a girl’s outfit (only if you’re genuine) or chat about the weather with the guy behind you line. You’ll notice that some people are friendly, some are not. But the important thing is that you practice being friendly and you’ll open yourself up to new opportunities for friendships. I used to be shy, and NEVER did this. However, my brother was always the outgoing type and always spoke to people and made friends when we’d go out. I asked him how he was so good at sparking conversation he said “don’t over think it. Just talk!” I started to look up conversation starters on the internet and practiced his technique with everyone I came across. And eventually my shyness went away. This will take time and consistency. You can’t just be friendly one time and say “well I didn’t make friends today so this is pointless” because that’s not how it works. You’ll see results when you make it a HABIT of being friendly and of course being genuine. Trust me, people can tell when you’re fake.

Be a good friend. This is a no brainer, but most posts that talk about gaining high value friends sometimes miss this. It’s nice to want friends who are wealthy, but you also have to be an asset to them. They don’t need another person who just wants to use them because rich people get used all the time. They know when someone is only in their life for superficial reasons so add value. Be a good friend that’s always there when they need you, be a good listener, be compassionate, remember their birthday. It’s not enough to just want to be friends with someone because of what they have. Luckily, I’m a funny person and love hosting gatherings/parties. I know how to make my friends laugh so they always want to be around me because of the positive energy I bring. Ask yourself, why would someone want to be friends with me? How am I an asset to someone’s life? Weather it’s your loyalty, trustworthiness, or you just know how to make a friend laugh when they’re down, understand your assets. You can be honest with yourself and say “I don’t have any of those traits”. That’s okay! Some of us weren’t raised to be a good friend. Maybe your mom didnt have many friends or you grew up a loner so you’re not sure what it means to be a good friend. If that’s the case, do something about it. Read books on what it means to be a good person, a great friend, and how to care about people. Once you have these traits, you’ll attract people with similar qualities into your life. 

Need to vent or get advice? Ask me anything: https://calendly.com/simplysheneka/girlchat

Source: https://essenceofrose.tumblr.com/post/645910289158733824

3 Comments

  • Tina On June 05, 2022

    This is such good information. Thank you Sheneka!! You are so giving, a lot of people charge for content like this but you choose to just share. God bless your good heart ❤️

  • Nomahlubi On April 26, 2022

    A good read, thank you Sheneka

  • Elizabeth On March 25, 2022

    Thank you for always blessing me with the gems of wisdom Sheneka. I enjoy reading .

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