April 10, 2023


By Simply Sheneka

Shift your focus from worrying about whether he likes you or not, and start considering if you genuinely like him or if you're just tolerating his presence. It's crucial to distinguish between the real person and the idealized image of them that you may have created in your mind.

Rejection can happen unexpectedly, and it's not always avoidable. Learn to bounce back from being told that things aren't working out and move on without dwelling on someone who has made it clear they're not interested in continuing to date you.

Stop chasing after men who don't make an effort to pursue you and who clearly show no interest in getting to know you. Cut your losses when it comes to those who can't take "no" for an answer and keep orbiting around you like clueless fools. Having a bunch of men around you can ruin potential relationships, as it can be frustrating to try and date a woman who is constantly surrounded by overly eager suitors who haven't learned their place yet.

Evaluate what you are willing to give in a relationship, and assess whether a man deserves the gift of your time and presence. Don't waste your time on men who are not willing to reciprocate and appreciate your worth. It's easier to move on when you realize that not every man is worth your investment.

Ask a man what his friends see in him, and try to see him from their perspective. If you can't imagine maintaining a friendship with him, consider that when contemplating a romantic relationship and intertwining your lives.

Make a list of your non-negotiables in a partner, as well as a list of realistic negotiables. Avoid black-and-white thinking when it comes to relationships, and be open to compromise and working on things together.

If you choose to stay with a man who consistently exhibits unacceptable behavior, don't be surprised when he refuses to change. Some men can be immature and resistant to self-reflection, so don't expect miracles if they are showing their true colors.

You don't need to share every detail of your relationship with your friends. Learn from past mistakes and realize that not everyone needs to hear the intimate details. Unsolicited opinions and advice from others can hinder your ability to move on in the way you desire.

If you suspect a man is lying or cheating, don't hesitate to drop him. You don't need an excuse to end a relationship, and if you notice red flags, there's no point in waiting for a parade of them before taking action. Dealing with dishonest men can be a major hassle, so prioritize your own well-being.

If you can't stand a man's family, consider whether it's worth staying with him. Remember that when you marry someone, you also gain their family as in-laws. It may be better to cut your losses and avoid dealing with toxic in-laws in the long run.

In hypergamous communities, it's apparent that many women lack the drive to level up or pursue their goals. Instead of putting in the necessary effort, they spend their time whining about how men don't want them, stuck in a cycle of repeating the same New Year's resolutions year after year. As someone who values ambition and initiative, I can't help but lose interest in these women who refuse to take action.

It's essential to understand that not every woman is destined to marry a millionaire or billionaire. Hypergamy is about marrying up, and that can mean finding a man who makes a decent living, even if he's not a billionaire. I've come across women who pass up opportunities with men who make good money, hoping for someone who makes even more. But the truth is, billionaires aren't scouring dating apps or swooping down to save someone from the gutter. Marrying a man who makes more than you and is financially stable is already a win, and six figures is nothing to scoff at. It's about taking what you can get, making it work if it fits your criteria, and not squandering the opportunity.

Some women tend to overcomplicate things and limit their options in the process. Hypergamy simply means marrying up, so why leave a man who makes more than you and is willing to provide, especially if there's genuine love and happiness? Not every woman will end up with a man in the top 1%, and it's unwise to turn down good opportunities in pursuit of an unrealistic fairytale ending. Complicating things unnecessarily can lead to missed chances, and ultimately, the blame falls on oneself for the lack of foresight. It's about seizing the opportunities that are within reach and making the most of them.

It's time to let go of the fantasy of meeting a Prince charming on Instagram or online. Those so-called "Saudi Princes" are a dime a dozen, and believing that you're somehow special enough for them to marry and provide for you is delusional. Instead of wasting time in fantasyland, it's crucial to put the advice you've read into action in the real world. Meeting someone in person, exploring accessible options, and making an effort to connect with potential partners is much more realistic than hoping for a fairy tale ending.

Being hard, jaded, ruthless, or vindictive is not a requirement for finding love. In fact, most men are not interested in dating women with such negative traits. It's perfectly fine to fall in love, but it's equally important to ensure that the love is reciprocated and proven. I'm tired of hearing complaints from women who have never been in a relationship or married, as it's clear that there's a reason for their lack of success. Putting on a facade to manipulate others is not worth it, as loneliness is not a valid reason to deceive oneself or others for personal gain.

Meeting millionaires or billionaires on the street is highly unlikely, despite what some content creators may claim. The truth is, many of those who seem to have glamorous lives and meet wealthy men at bars are often engaged in sex work or sugar relationships, which require effort, hard work, and knowing how to attract men. Sitting at clubs, expecting men to approach and shower you with gifts is pathetic, as it shows a lack of understanding of the realities of relationships and dating. There's a reason why there's been a crackdown in formerly sex work-positive environments, and it's crucial to acknowledge that sex workers and escorts actually put in the work, unlike those who rely on stolen tips from hypergamy coaches without getting their hands dirty.

Men, like women, have preferences, and it's immature to expect every man to want you. Just as women have preferences for height, income, appearance, and other qualities in a partner, men have their own set of preferences as well. It's important to understand and respect that, instead of feeling entitled to someone's attention or affection. Confidence is attractive, but entitlement is not.

In the pursuit of hypergamy, it's essential to focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Instead of waiting for a man to come along and provide for you, why not invest in yourself and create your own success? Build a fulfilling career, pursue your passions, and become the best version of yourself. Confidence and independence are attractive qualities that will naturally draw in high-quality partners.

Being selective is not the same as being hypergamous. It's okay to have standards and preferences in a partner, but it's important to approach relationships with authenticity and genuine connection, rather than just a checklist of superficial traits. True love and meaningful connections are built on shared values, mutual respect, and emotional intimacy, not just financial status or social standing.

Hypergamy should not be used as an excuse for gold-digging or manipulating others for personal gain. Relationships based on materialistic motives are shallow and unlikely to lead to long-term happiness. Instead of focusing solely on what someone can provide for you, focus on building a genuine connection and creating a healthy, loving relationship based on trust, respect, and emotional intimacy.

Hypergamy is not a guaranteed path to finding true love or happiness. It's important to approach relationships with authenticity, self-improvement, and a genuine desire for connection. It's okay to have standards and preferences, but entitlement, manipulation, and unrealistic expectations are not the right approach. Invest in yourself, be confident, and strive for genuine connections based on mutual respect and emotional intimacy. Remember, true love and happiness come from within and cannot be solely based on financial status or social standing. So let go of the superficial notions of hypergamy and focus on building meaningful relationships based on love, respect, and genuine connection.

If you find yourself in a situation where a guy cancels on you multiple times without a legitimate reason, it's time to take action. Delete his number and stop making an effort to see him. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't care about your feelings and is only using you for their convenience. A person who genuinely wants to see you wouldn't keep canceling on you. It's understandable that unforeseen circumstances may arise, but consistent cancellations are a red flag that this person isn't truly interested in you. It's time to move on and find someone else who values and respects your time.

If you've experienced the painful cycle of lovebombing and ghosting, and you're struggling to move on, it's time to hold a "fake funeral" in your mind and let go. Treat it as a symbolic closure, acknowledging that the connection has died, and the person who ghosted you is no longer a part of your life. Block all their communication and delete any reminders of them, including screenshots and pictures. It may seem extreme, but it's a powerful way to release yourself from the emotional hold of someone who isn't worthy of your time and energy.

When a man's behavior is consistently unacceptable from the start, it's unlikely to improve over time. Don't waste your energy trying to fix someone who isn't willing to make an effort. No man suddenly changes for the better out of the blue. Don't stick around hoping for a miracle. Some men need to be told that their behavior is unacceptable and that they don't matter in the long run. While it's not advisable to be verbally abusive, standing up for yourself and setting boundaries is important. It's okay to assertively communicate your worth and not tolerate mistreatment. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and it's not your responsibility to fix someone else.

Need to vent or get advice? Book your Girl Chat Call: http://simplysheneka.net/


    • Cheryl Roberts On April 19, 2023

      This was a great read!
      Thank you!❤️

    • Mariama On April 13, 2023

      Thank you Sheneka for the great advices, this was a wonderful read. Certainly why you are my favourite as other life coaches preach money and nothing else, it’s so shallow.

    • Selvina On April 11, 2023

      Perfect timing, this was such a great read! Thank you Sheneka.

    • Khemika On April 11, 2023

      Good read! Thanks Shaneka!

    • Cynthia On April 10, 2023

      I love what you do for the community.

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