January 25, 2022


By Simply Sheneka

Create an air of mystery. Never reveal more than you need to about yourself. This generates interest and a desire to be involved in your life, considering you’re not bearing all of it on social media. It’s as if only certain people get access to you, and everyone is aware of that.

Don’t take things too personally. Know that what others do is a reflection of themselves, not you. Everyone is acting on their own interest. You don’t know their full story, the same way someone doesn’t know yours. 

Become a woman of substance. Have qualities that are hard to come by. Have talents that are enriching. Have emotional intelligence, as well as academic intelligence. Be well versed in multiple topics. 

Be a queen of socialization. It’s all about being skilled on how to hold a conversation and keep it. Be able to actively listen to the other person. Ask open ended questions. Have a conversation where you both mutually enjoy the topic. Small talk is everything (family, occupation, recreation, dreams, culture). Smile, have eye contact, calm body language, and an inviting voice that keeps them wanting more of you. 

Have a circle of friends that are genuine, loyal, high maintenance, and trustworthy. If not a circle, have one or two reliable best friends that match your level of energy. Everyone else may think they’re close to you, but they’re acquaintances. Let them think they know you. Follow up with close ones you care about. Make it a point to get back to them, and link up twice a month if possible. 

Ignore all negativity from outsiders. Don’t give them your energy. Be aware of what’s being said, but don’t react. Don’t confirm anything or deny. Avoid subliminal messages and petty banter. All of that is beneath you. 

Embrace your individuality. No one else can be you. Fall in love with the way you speak, walk, talk, and operate. Everything is graceful and poised. Your energy is contagious and vivacious. People have nothing but good things to say, because you have the same respect for yourself.

Growth is your goal. Dedicate your energy to things that feed your soul. Always look to better yourself. Strengthen your spirit and your faith. Look to God before you look to someone else. Never stop learning. 

Have boundaries, and enforce them. Never let someone disrespect your core boundaries. These boundaries are your personal code of ethics. Decide what that means for you, whether with self, love life, friendships, or family relationships. 

Be your own best friend first. The ins and outs of you should intrigue you just as much as they intrigue everyone else. Befriend yourself and date yourself. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on a healthy level, and assess what you can do differently when met with challenges. 

Create a signature presentation. Your hair, makeup, perfume, clothing, mannerisms, voice, and overall aura will all contribute to the signature dream girl presentation. Have your aesthetic down pat and be consistent. Only let up in the privacy of your home. When seeing others, always be in character. 

Have a routine. Whether you know it or not, your morning, night, and pampering routine will seal in your presentation and mental health. Be consistent with this, and notice when you need to check in with yourself. 

Take days off. To avoid burnout, center your off days around your mental health. Know what you need and what makes you feel better. Have your down days, so you avoid snapping on anyone or getting out of character. Never let anyone see you slip. Retreat privately, and face your battles privately before revealing them to anyone first. Give yourself time to process before allowing others in your space.

Put your dreams, goals, and desires first. The outside noise does not matter. It’s about what you think and what you want. Make it happen, no matter how long it takes. It doesn’t matter how far fetched your dreams seem to others, make it a reality for you.

Live a life of luxury regardless. Know that you don’t need material things to live a life of luxury and bliss. Remember that they are simply attainable perks to your life. Your life is already luxurious and blissful, because you expect nothing less out of yourself. It’s a mindset you’ve fostered. 

Remember that people look up to you. You are an object of desire for many. You have the power, and you possess more of it than you could ever imagine. 

Count your blessings. Be thankful for everything in life. Never feel entitled. This energy is rare in a world full of people who feel entitled to everything. Be humble, all while knowing what you deserve. You’ll be richly rewarded.


  • Nomahlubi On August 17, 2022

    Simply superb.

  • Joy On March 21, 2022

    Well written amazing and inspiring. I only found your blog today even though I’ve followed you on instagram for a while. You are a phenomenal woman.

  • Althia On March 21, 2022

    Beautifully crafted. Thanks Sheneka, you’re a gem. I took notes!

  • Shallan On March 16, 2022

    This is truely amazing
    Thank you so much for being such amazing motivation to women ❤️

  • Janai Ellington On March 16, 2022

    Wow Sheneka, I was aware of your intelligence as I have watched you in a few interviews throughout the years. I literally just googled you because I was curious what you were up too these days. These tips are right on the ball! Everything you listed was not only helpful but also confirmation that I am going in the most suited direction for me and slowly but surely becoming my dream girl. Thank you for this blog because now I have something simple & clear to reference, much appreciated.

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