September 13, 2023

THE ILLUSION OF STRUGGLE LOVE: WHY SETTLING IS NEVER AN OPTION

By Simply Sheneka
SIMPLY SHENEKA - THE ILLUSION OF STRUGGLE LOVE: WHY SETTLING IS NEVER AN OPTION

Girl, let's get into it. I don't know who needs to hear this today, but struggle love is not your birthright. There's this romanticized idea that relationships need to be filled with hardship to be meaningful or lasting. Hollywood and social media have fed us this narrative of "us against the world," where couples go through some epic struggle only to come out stronger. But here's the thing: Real love shouldn't require you to sacrifice your happiness, self-esteem, or well-being.

What is Struggle Love?

First of all, what are we even talking about when we say "struggle love?" Well, it's love that's characterized by constant trials and tribulations. It's the never-ending cycle of breakups and makeups, the emotional rollercoasters, the financial stress, and the perpetual feeling that you're settling for less than you deserve. We're not talking about the ordinary ups and downs that every relationship goes through; we're talking about an imbalance that puts the burden disproportionately on you to "make it work."

The “Ride or Die” Myth

We've all heard of the "ride or die" chick—the woman who sticks by her man through thick and thin, no matter what. While loyalty is indeed a virtue, there's a fine line between being supportive and being a doormat. The ride-or-die mentality can sometimes make women put up with behavior that should be immediate deal-breakers. Cheating, lying, financial irresponsibility—you name it, and the ride-or-die chick will justify it under the banner of "love."

Financial Struggles: Can We Afford Love?

Okay, let's talk money. While love might be priceless, maintaining a relationship sure isn't. And no, I'm not saying a man needs to be a millionaire, but he does need to bring something to the table. The notion that love can survive on air and good intentions is a myth. Whether we like it or not, financial stress is one of the top reasons couples break up. So if you find yourself constantly worried about money, maybe it's time to assess if your man is a provider or just another liability. 

Struggle Love and Self-Esteem

You can't pour from an empty cup. When you're constantly fighting to keep a relationship alive, it drains you emotionally. Over time, you start believing that maybe this is what you deserve. This erodes your self-esteem and puts you in a vicious cycle where you accept less and less while giving more and more.

You Deserve Better

Listen, a man who loves you will want to elevate you, not drag you down. A true partnership is about mutual growth and respect. It's not about you bearing the brunt of struggles while he's off doing God knows what. So next time you find yourself in the thick of struggle love, ask yourself: "Is this relationship serving me, or am I serving the relationship?"

Struggle love has a sneaky way of making you feel like you're in an epic love story, but the truth is, you're likely in a tragic one. Stop romanticizing struggle and start recognizing your worth. You're not someone's rehab center or a project to fix. You're a queen, deserving of a love that enriches your life, not one that diminishes it.

So to all the ladies out there, say it with me: No more struggle love. Period.

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