WOMEN SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX TOO SOON WITH MEN
Why The Rule Exists
For centuries, women have been considered the “gatekeepers” of sex. This means that dating and relationship rules have historically been created with women’s best interests in mind. It’s not that men don’t want to protect women, but rather that men have historically held all the power in sexual relationships: they are the ones with the most to lose from casual sexual encounters. By waiting for the right moment, women can position themselves to have sexual experiences that leave them feeling empowered, rather than disempowered, by their choices. If the rule about waiting until the right moment is created with women’s best interests in mind, then why does it seem like women who wait are praised, but men who wait are criticized? For many years, dating advice for men and women was very different. Men were told to wait for the right moment, but women were encouraged to “play the field,” meaning that they should sleep with as many people as they could to maximize their chances of finding a long-term partner. These double standards have changed in recent years, but they still persist in some people’s minds.
Respect For Yourself
The first reason the “don’t have sex too soon” rule exists is respect for yourself. When you have sex too soon, you risk feeling disempowered by the experience. You may feel like you made a poor decision, or that your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries. You may feel regret, or you may feel ashamed. All of these feelings can result in decreased self-esteem and self-worth. Sex is a very intimate act that requires trust and vulnerability. When you have sex too soon, you don’t have time to develop those feelings of trust with your partner. In fact, if you don’t have enough time to get to know your partner, you may not even know if you trust them enough to have sex with them. In general, having high self-esteem is important for mental health. But it’s even more so when it comes to sex. Research shows that when women feel positive about their sexual experiences, they are more likely to report positive psychological and sexual health outcomes.
Knowing Your Partner
The second reason the “don’t have sex too soon” rule exists is that you need to know your partner well enough to trust them. Some people might disagree with this idea and say that you should only ever have sex with a person you trust, but the truth is that not all people are trustworthy. If you don’t know your partner well enough to know if they can be trusted, you risk having a negative sexual experience that could damage your mental health. The good news is that it’s not too late to change course: you can talk with your partner and explain that you don’t feel comfortable having sex with them yet. If you have sex too soon with someone you don’t know well enough, you may not have a clear idea of your boundaries. This can lead to uncomfortable sexual experiences, and can also leave you feeling disempowered by the experience since you might not be able to communicate your boundaries to your partner.
Protecting Yourself From Consequences
The third reason the “don’t have sex too soon” rule exists is to protect you against potential consequences. This is an important thing to consider when deciding how soon you want to have sex with a new partner. There are several things to consider when making this decision, including STIs and STDs, pregnancy, and how long you’re in a relationship with someone. STIs and STDs can be spread through skin-to-skin contact, including sexual intercourse, so condoms aren’t always enough to fully protect against contracting an STI. Condoms are highly effective at preventing pregnancy, but it’s important to remember that they only work when they are put on correctly and are used consistently with every sexual partner.
Ways To Assess A Partner
If you’re unsure about when you should have sex with a partner, you can use these three criteria to assess the situation: communication, respect for boundaries, and safety. Communication is important in every relationship, but is especially relevant when deciding if and when to have sex with a new partner. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with your partner about your boundaries, you should probably wait to have sex with them. If you don’t feel like you can trust your partner to respect your boundaries, it’s best to wait. If you don’t know your partner well enough to be sure they are safe, you should wait to have sex with them.
Respect For Boundaries
Boundaries are important in any relationship, but they are especially crucial when deciding when to have sex with a new partner. It’s important to understand your own boundaries—what you are comfortable with, and what you aren’t comfortable with—and to respect your partner’s boundaries as well. If you want to have sex with your partner, but they aren’t ready yet, respect their boundaries. If you and your partner are both ready, you can use your best judgment to decide if the timing is right.
The most important thing to consider when deciding when to have sex with a new partner is whether or not they can be trusted. If you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship, you can skip ahead to the next section, “consider potential consequences.” If you’re in a new or casual sexual relationship, it’s important to be aware of potential consequences, such as STIs, unwanted pregnancy, and emotional consequences like feelings of shame or regret, so that you can make the best decision for yourself. If the person you’re dating is trustworthy, and you trust them, it’s okay to have sex with them when you both want to. But if you’re unsure about their trustworthiness, or if your instincts tell you to wait, it’s probably best to wait until you feel more confident in your relationship.
Consider Potential Consequences
If you’re in a casual sexual relationship, you don’t know whether or not the person you’re dating is trustworthy enough to have sex with them. They may tell you that they’re clean (meaning they don’t have any STDs), but you can’t be sure. If you are in a casual sexual relationship and you’re considering having sex with your partner, you should use protection. If you have had a previous sexual relationship, it’s also a good idea to get tested for STDs. This can help you feel confident in your decision to have sex with your partner. Condoms are the only method of birth control that also protects against most STDs. There are other methods of birth control, but none of them protect against STDs.
When it comes to sex and dating, everyone is different. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to waiting for the right moment to have sex: every relationship is different. What’s important is that you understand your own personal boundaries and how they relate to sex, as well as the boundaries of your partner. Respect for yourself, knowing your partner, and protecting yourself from potential consequences will help you navigate the tricky world of dating and sex.