Struggle love...the common belief that women should lower their standards for men, expect and accept less, and be happy with unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships. Women in every country, society, and ethnic group are taught to lower their standards for men, so struggle love is familiar. But Black women are especially targeted and taught to think that they have a moral obligation to build up grown men and fix broken men while accepting mediocrity and mistreatment.

I think it's high time for women to rethink what they've been told about struggle, love, and personal relationships. It's time for us to be honest about how these ideas have hurt our lives and those of other women around us. Instead, we should take a different, common-sense approach to romantic relationships based on truth, facts, and evidence. A healthy relationship isn't a constant battle; you don't have to give up your ideals or lower your standards to have a man around.